A Story of Resilience and Grit. How to Approach Transformative Life Experiences…
Phalloplasty: A Portal for Growth and Transformation
When we think of major life events that bring about transformation, many picture graduation ceremonies, weddings, the birth of a child. But for me, the path of transformation led through phalloplasty—an experience of profound growth not only physically, but also emotionally and spiritually. The journey to and through this surgery has been a rite of passage, and every step in preparation, anticipation, and recovery has redefined what growth and self-discovery mean to me.
Phalloplasty was more than a step in my physical transition. It required preparation and resilience on every level: physically, chemically, and emotionally. In each of these areas, there were steps and insights that helped me become not only ready for surgery but prepared for the deep transformation it would bring.
Physical Preparation: Building the Body’s Resilience
Preparing physically for phalloplasty was crucial. This isn’t just about being ready to undergo the procedure but also about optimizing my body’s strength, resilience, and capacity to heal. Staying active, focusing on strength, and nourishing my body with the right foods and supplements all became essential parts of the process. I needed to go in with a body that was as resilient as possible because surgery, and the recovery that follows, demands resilience.
To prepare physically I:
Exercised within my window of tolerance to manage cortisol and inflammation spikes - High intensity exercise and high intensity strength training (I was a powerlifter before I started my Phalloplasty journey) can increase cortisol and inflammation. I switched my training up to low - moderate intensity.
Practiced Wim Hoff breathing techniques and cold exposure therapy. I used cold therapy to prepare my nervous system for the gruelling hard days. By focusing my breath and coming into a more complete state of presence while in a cold shower or an ice bath helped me to ‘practice’ holding myself and being present through the tough times in phalloplasty.
Addressed sources of inflammation in my body by using diet and supplementation.
But the physical preparation isn’t just for the weeks leading up to surgery; it’s an ongoing relationship with my body, a commitment to nurturing it through each phase of healing and growth. In fact, staying dedicated to physical health has taught me so much about self-discipline and respect for my body’s limits.
Chemical Preparation: Aligning Hormones and Nutritional Needs
On the chemical level, there was also much to prepare. Hormone levels, blood chemistry, and nutrient stores all had to be in optimal balance to support healing. As someone who deeply values holistic health, I’ve long been aware of the chemical balances in my body, but phalloplasty required a whole new level of attention.
To prepare myself on a biochemical level I:
Found a way of eating that suited my constitution. Through the years working on myself I have found that a paleo type diet works best for me. Going completely grain free has always been a sure fire way for me to address inflammation levels directly. The paleo diet is a great way to get me to focus on whole foods like meats and vegetables while finding fun ways to make grain free food and snacks. The result means less bloating, an improved immune system and a system that has overall less toxins within it.
Followed a supplement protocol that was holistic. I took supplements that support my previous known ‘weaker’ areas of my biochemistry. I supplemented for pyrroles and methylation issues that I have previously discovered through functional health tests. I used supplements to support my liver and brain leading into surgery as I felt they were the areas that would be hardest hit by the many medications I would require.
These situations we face, whether we know they are in our future or not are essential reasons why we should have a wellness mindset. I often get asked ‘well, why should I delve deeper into my biochemistry if there is nothing wrong with me?’ my reply is not just to know yourself better and to address imbalance before it becomes and issue but also so that when life throws you a curve ball, or you need to dig deep to show up to some unexpected transformative experience you have already got the information you need to support yourself appropriately. It was because of my earlier health journey that I knew my chemistry enough to know how to support myself adequately in preparation for this set of surgeries.
My experience as a health practitioner helped me recognize that everything from hormone levels to nutrient deficiencies can impact recovery, energy, and mental well-being. This surgery has brought me closer to understanding how crucial it is to approach health with a fully integrated mindset. It’s not just about what we see on the surface; it’s about supporting the whole system.
Emotional Preparation: Readying the Mind and Spirit
Preparing emotionally was perhaps the most profound part of this journey. Phalloplasty isn’t just a physical procedure; it’s a gateway into a new relationship with myself and the world. This surgery required me to explore new emotional territory, including the fears, hopes, and dreams that were part of the experience.
To prepare emotionally for phalloplasty I:
Scheduled regular Neuro Emotional Technique (NET) sessions. NET has many applications and when it comes to known future stressors I was able to processed stored emotional stress around the concept of having surgery. Not just this, I was able to work on emotional stress that the impending change brought up. In a way, we used phalloplasty to highlight or bring up stored stress around my body, the way I was working in the world, my relationship to my identity and so on…
Scheduled regular EMDR sessions: Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing or EMDR is a therapy used by mental health professionals to mimic and induce a synthetic stimuli that mimics the nervous systems natural way of process emotion, information and traumatic experiences. I highly recommend EMDR in therapy and as a way to prepare for upcoming events. The forward pacing aspect of EMDR therapy prepared my mind for any possible outcome, I could address my fears, my perceived weaknesses and the negative outcomes that I was trying to avoid. While that is very therapeutic, the most advantageous part of EMDR for me was in creating a desired outcome, my best possible picture of surgery and recovery and working through perceived limitations to that reality. I experienced how therapy turns to manifestation through forward pacing.
Meditation and Breathwork. I had a regular practice using meditation and breathwork to still the mind and find the space of stillness within while my thoughts and feelings coexisted. Practicing meditation was not just an essential mind training exercise in being present but also helped me to process experiences real or perceived in the lead up to surgery. During recovery I could re enter the meditative state and I found that, because my body recognised the space from my regular practice leading up to surgery, my nervous system had a ‘memory’ of being in the stillness. Because of this, if I was in pain or stressed, or I was having trouble sleeping or dealing with a side effect from medication, I could put on the meditation music and settle myself into a meditative state, my body and nervous system ‘remembered’ how to be centred and still and that helped me overcome some of those experiences.
The process was daunting, of course, but having Hilary beside me has made a world of difference. She’s become, in a way, my “frontal lobe”—helping me stay grounded and focused on the future, assisting me in forward-pacing through each stage. Knowing I could rely on her made the whole experience not just manageable but profoundly connected, grounded in a partnership built on mutual growth and support.
Forward Pacing and Leaning into Growth
One concept that has stayed with me throughout this journey is forward pacing. Surgery, like any major change, can feel overwhelming if we try to take it all in at once. Forward pacing has been essential: breaking down this journey into manageable, present-focused moments while keeping an eye on the larger goals ahead. It’s easy to feel consumed by the challenges of recovery and the steps required to get to a stable place, but forward pacing brings the focus back to daily progress.
Hilary has been a crucial part of this, helping me keep sight of each small victory and moving forward with purpose. She’s been my anchor, helping me face the journey one step at a time. And it’s this combination—of forward-pacing and grounded partnership—that has allowed me to truly grow through this experience.
Phalloplasty as a Portal to Self-Discovery
Ultimately, phalloplasty has been more than a set of surgeries; it has been a portal to understanding myself on a deeper level. The physical, chemical, and emotional preparations all coalesced into a journey of self-discovery and resilience. Through this experience, I’ve learned to approach life with patience, commitment, and a newfound respect for my own strength.
And I am forever grateful for Hilary, my “frontal lobe,” my partner, my guide—she has helped me see that true transformation is possible not just through the act itself, but through the connections and growth that come along the way.
Phalloplasty has been a significant milestone in my life, but it’s also just one step in an ongoing journey of becoming who I truly am. This experience has redefined my relationship with my body, my mind, and my spirit, and I’m grateful for the chance to share it with you.
If you or someone you know is dealing with big events in their life, please send them this information. My surgeries are just one story that represents change and transformation, I believe we are all capable of embracing change and growing from it to glean the incredibly positive outcomes associated with transformation. I love working with people through transformation and would love to work with you in yours.
re you or someone you know on the phalloplasty journey? If so, please send them this information. I have many recovery guides and recommendations to help you through this incredible difficult yet rewarding journey. You are not alone and I will walk with you in whatever way you might need.
Love and gratitude,
Jaxson